Hello there, Hunter Adom Wallace here. While I presented the main body of this, my book titled Running: How To Torture Yourself And Enjoy It, as non-fiction, you may have chosen to perceive it as fictional. That is okay; this appendix, though? This appendix is just about as non-fiction as it gets, and I need you to both understand and accept that before continuing. Even if you disregard everything else I wrote upon the pages of this book, please, please pay attention to what follows.
The Lyme Demon
What you’re about to read is weird, very out there, as it were, and reading it back to myself… well, if I was anybody else, I would think it was a work of fiction… but, like, I wrote it, I know it happened… so… I think I had neurological Lyme disease, as in the fucking bacteria was inside my brain. I’ve felt symptoms of Lyme since I was 10 years old, but after a head injury in ‘17 I watched myself slowly descend into a seemingly bottomless pit of pseudo-schizophrenic insanity over the course of a year and change… and then something happened. I think I cured myself, and I think my doing so is related to spirituality and Moksha Medicine. But that’s all what I think; here is what I know: The morning after The Banishing occurred, I woke up feeling better than I have since I was a literal child.
I forget exactly when I learned it, but one time while I was tripping on Moksha Medicine I learned how to do this thing I call Spiraling. You focus on a spot just outside your visual perception and you bring that point in a clockwise or counterclockwise circle around your face. Depending on the direction you’re spiraling, your energy level will either rise or sink. Like, I would literally feel it; if I would Spiral in a clockwise direction I would feel my energy get more intense, I would feel more awake, more alert; if I Spiraled counterclockwise I felt my energy relax, I would get a bit sleepy, everything would slow down. I thought it was kinda like a superpower so I just played around with it for a few years, I never thought much into it. I taught a friend how to do it while I was shamanically guiding him through a Moksha trip and it worked for him too, he could feel his energy changing just like I could, so it isn’t just a me thing; it’s a replicable, self-observable, and teachable phenomenon.
Flash back to summer vacation before or after fourth grade: I caught Lyme disease off a tick bite. Bullseye and everything, tested and diagnosed by a medical professional registered with the US of A government; I word that that way to add legitimacy to this otherwise bullshit-sounding account of my experiences. Again, this is all true, strange as it may be.
I was on antibiotics the duration of that summer. I couldn’t go outside because the medication made my skin extremely sensitive to the sun, but we caught the disease early enough that I didn’t need to spend years in bed, so it all balanced out. After I finished the prescribed round of antibiotics, the doctors told me I was cured and that my body would be immune to the disease for the rest of my life.
Well, as it turns out, that’s not really how Lyme disease works. At all.
Lyme disease is… I’m not sure how to put it. Let’s just say there are a ton of conspiracies about the US of A government and healthcare industry, the Plum Island Research Facility in Montauk Bay, and Lyme disease; if you want to look into the sketchier stuff on your own, you are more than welcome to. Anyway, Lyme is a bacterium called Borrelia burgdorferi and it is shaped like a corkscrew. The way it works is that it bores into, tunnels through, eats, and breeds in every part of your body that it can possibly get to – soft tissue, muscles, joints, nerves, and in really bad cases, the brain. Now, humans with Lyme in their brain say that Lyme is worse than cancer, because cancer actually kills you – with neuro-Lyme, you just get to watch yourself slowly but surely lose your mind as the corkscrew-esque bacteria tunnels through, eats, and breeds in your brain. Look into it and get tested, especially if you frequent the forests and especially if you’re on the USA’s east coast. Lyme is a fucking monster, or I should say, a fucking demon.
So, as I hinted above, I don’t think I was really cured back when I was ten years old. As far back as I can remember, I’ve experienced what I now know as nerve problems like twitching, random numbness, muscle spasms to name a few; exhaustion, fatigue, constant mental fog, blah blah to name a few more. Joint pain, too. I literally always thought I was just born fucked up, but now I’m thinking I’ve had Lyme since I was ten and I also think, as it lied dormant, it slowly ate away at me as my body slowly repaired itself in tandem. My pain and nerve issues are not constant; when they present, they’re just kind of there for a few days. Then, they go away. They always come back eventually, though. Or at least, they always would.
I don’t think the burgdorferi was able to get into my brain when I was younger, thankfully, because of a thing in our heads called the Blood Brain Barrier; you probably know it from school. Well, fast forward to Christmas 2017: The Burst (the time I was coloring and I felt something go pop inside my head followed by the sensation of liquid running down the side of my brain in the exact spot my skull caved some months prior) happened. I also passed out, sort of; I remember losing all bodily sensations, and yet I was still conscious, afloat in a white space. It was… surreal. So very surreal.
Six months prior to The Burst, I hit my head so hard my skull caved in and I died and came back to life. When that happened, I’m pretty sure it created a weak spot in my BBB, a ticking time bomb if you will.
Back to Christmas; I had smoked a heavy bowl of Moksha Medicine. Immediately after my powwow, I felt The Burst. I think when I smoked, a lot of extra blood rushed to my head really quickly on account of the high-potency Moksha, putting sudden pressure on the weak spot in the BBB and causing it to pop, which leaked a drop of tainted blood into my brain cavity before my body did some mystical shit and healed itself so I wouldn’t die. Ever since then my life hasn’t been the same, I have literally been watching myself go downhill physically and mentally and there’s been nothing I can do to stop it. I thought I had chronic brain damage that would just get worse over time from my head injury and that’s just how I would go, slowly and tragically with no chance of getting helped, fixed, or healed.
Until a week or two before I wrote this appendix, that is.
The whole “Lyme doesn’t really go away” thing? So, I’m pretty sure the blood that leaked into my brain cavity had the Lyme bacteria swimmin’ in it. I’m pretty sure that essentially, since the top of 2018, the corkscrew-shaped-ass bitch-ass burgdorferi has been in my brain slowly screwing me, eating away at my neuro-bits, destroying me from the inside.
Prior to two weeks ago I was helping my uncle, who is diagnosed with and has been warring against severe neurological Lyme disease for years, move his belongings between upstate New York and northern New Jersey. During that experience, he told me all about his experience with the disease and his symptoms, and what he said matched what I was going through – the same symptoms, the same feeling off all the time, the same searching for answers and going to doctors and getting nothing; the numbness, the uncontrollable nerve ﬁring, the unnerving, uncomfortable, and un-fucking-settling sensation of the body convulsing one step down from having a full seizure, everything. I’ve believed I was a schizophrenic for a while now, as you probably aren’t aware because I didn’t feel the need to mention as much in my running book, but now I’m pretty sure I’ve simply had neuro-Lyme this entire time.
Fun fact: the most common misdiagnosis of neuro-Lyme is paranoid schizophrenia because the disease literally makes you go fucking nuts and hallucinate, et cetera – that et cetera including all the wild shit that happens in the brain up to the point of goddamn fucking hallucination. Terrifying is an understatement.
All right, so finally a week or two ago. I was laying in my bed, zonked off my ass on my Moksha just playing around with the Spiraling technique, thinking existentially, as I oft do. I kept Spiraling clockwise because I liked when things got more intense, but then something clicked inside my brain: Lyme is a corkscrew, it works by screwing itself into the body. Corkscrews go into things in a clockwise direction and come out in a counterclockwise direction. When I Spiraled clockwise, everything became intense; what if that was because I was metaphysically Spiraling the Lyme deeper into my brain and the increased intensity was my brain freaking the fuck out?? That probably seems like a stretch, but I’m the shamanic type, and I’ve literally experienced visions of worms tunneling to the center of my brain (amongst other symbols for my brain being under attack) on multiple occasions. On a hunch, I started Spiraling counterclockwise over and over again, faster and faster, refusing to stop. That’s when shit got weird. Well, weirder.
I didn’t expressly feel my spirit leave my body, but everything faded away and I was, like, floating in darkness. I think I was literally inside my brain, but I cannot be sure of that. I kept Spiraling, the darkness got darker, I started hearing a high-pitched ringing, and I started to see stuff moving around. At first it was just dim shapes and very subtle colors, but as I kept Spiraling it got clearer and clearer, started taking shape. It was this… thing, it literally resembled the face of an evil, twisted, demonic, demented worm creature. Eyes everywhere. This horrible, retching mouth with razor-sharp teeth hanging off its body on a tube. It was… it was evil. I could feel that it was evil. And it roared, it made this horrible, bellowing roar that almost sounded like the TARDIS from Doctor Who except it was not comforting whatsoever. I will literally never forget the sound it made, the shit haunts me still to this day.
The more I Spiraled, the clearer and louder the thing got. So, naturally, I Spiraled faster and faster. At some point I heard myself yelling BEGONE LYME over and over inside my head; every time I yelled it, the thing would roar louder. I felt like Doctor Strange trying to bargain with Dormammu except way too real and instead of an infinity stone, I had… well, a history of Moksha Medicine use and an open third eye.
So basically an infinity stone, if we’re being real here.
I keep up the Spiraling and the BEGONEing for somewhere between like, five and ten minutes or so, and then, suddenly, the thing is gone. All’s quiet inside my head. I’m in my body, back in my bed, and everything feels at peace. A sense of relief washes over me. I felt normal for the first time in years, as though I was the only thing controlling my body, and I’ve only felt great since then. I don’t dread waking up, my nerve issues have gotten better, my head is clearer, and I don’t feel like I’m going to randomly drop dead anymore, which, ever since the resurrection head injury, has been at the forefront of my consciousness. Here’s the kicker: Spiraling doesn’t do much for me anymore. I’ve tried to go clockwise and counterclockwise and while I can still find the intangible point and bring it around the outside of my perception, I no longer feel a change in my energy after the loop.
To recap, I’m pretty sure I accidentally banished the spirit of the Lyme disease (which is the closest thing to a fucking demon that I can imagine) from my brain, and maybe the rest of my body too, literally curing myself of one of the worst neurodegenerative diseases in Existence, all through a spiritual technique I acquired (for lack of better terminology) by opening my third eye through meditation and the ingestion of Moksha Medicine. If I can cure myself with Spiraling, and it’s possible to teach others how to Spiral whilst under the effects of the Moksha Medicine, then that means others can be cured of their Lyme disease too. If, that is, Spiraling actually cured me of Lyme, and what I’ve said here has any bearing.
I say that because I’ve yet to get retested for Lyme disease because I can’t afford private insurance and I don’t want the government’s insurance. Also, I cannot afford a doctor’s appointment to get retested. But I do feel significantly different now, post-Banishing, than I did before it happened. I’ve been functionally better, too: less twitching, less aches and pains, less numbness. Happier mood, clearer head, stronger body. I’ve been cooking for myself, running upwards of two miles a day, I can even write without feeling the need to take a nap immediately afterwards. Everything is better. The most startling thing about this experience has been realizing how far from baseline I fell without ever noticing I was falling.
That’s not to say I’m suddenly in perfect health now, either. I still feel symptoms occasionally; they aren’t nearly as severe and they don’t last as long now, but I do still feel them. I think a whole lot of healing still needs to be done to get me back up to par, because the bacteria did damage my body and might still be damaging it for all I know, but considering how I feel better every day, I think I might actually be cured. The future is bright for me, like, I actually feel like I’m going to end up okay. For the first time in a long time, I’ve noticed myself thinking like a sane human, or at least, as close to what the “general public” considers to be “sane” as I can get.
I can’t accurately express how good it feels to be able to write that, to write all this, and not be full of shit. I’m not looking for recognition, status, anything; I wasn’t even going to type this up originally. If someone I know reads this and asks me about it, I’m going to be embarrassed as fuck, but… fuck it. If there’s one human being out there, if there is one hairless monkey out of the seven-something billion on this planet who’s weathering the shit monsoon I’ve been going through up to this point, and reading these words could give them a crotch hair of a chance of improving their life… I would be a demon if I didn’t put them out there.
I, Hunter Adom Wallace, banished the Lyme demon from my body. If I can do it, that’s proof enough someone else can do it too.
This has been the appendix of the book Running: How To Torture Yourself And Enjoy It |The Unvictimized Edition|. Here is everything you need to know about it:
Running: How To Torture Yourself And Enjoy It
|The Unvictimized Edition|
- A satirical self-help book about running that’s more about its author than anything else
- Book stats:
– 156 pages
– 26,867 words
– Spiral: The Highest One Writing | Arc: I
– Series: W-63 | Entry: 1
– Revision Date: June 09, 2021
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