A Street Sign & A Bumper Sticker
Yesterday, My Mother drove My grandMother to an animal shelter to adopt a new cat because her other one was recently put down. The poor thing had severe diabetes, lost the majority of the function in her kidneys, and had zero bladder control. The old animal was weak, emaciated, and she lived a life of suffering. Rest in peace, Akasha; I did not know you well, but I know you will be well missed. The new cat’s name is Mango, she’s a beautiful orange sweetheart about nine years into the first of her nine lives. grandMother didn’t get to take Mango home that day due to Red Tape in one form or another, but as I write this they’re back at the shelter, cat carrier in hand. Hats off to Mango.
On the way to the shelter yesterday, Mother and grandMother were behind a line of cars ending in a box truck that was about three hundred or so feet in front of a convertible jalopy driven by a ninety-year-old lady with blue hair and a Kennedy ‘64 bumper sticker. The speed limit was thirty miles per hour. They were hardly pushing ten, plus it was about seventy-seven degrees outside and sticky humid and the woman didn’t have the top down! grandMother was about to pull out the crossbow and get a little saucy with it but fortunately Beatrice turned off the road and Mother was able to close the gap.
As a car somewhere up in the line was turning off, traffic slowed and the mother-daughter duo came to a stop at a street called Hillary Court, right behind the box truck. grandMother looks at the bumper of the truck and notices a Trump 2020 sticker and laughs, pointing out the Trump-Hillary coincidence. Mother snorts and on they went to the shelter.
I was at grandMother’s house for a few hours earlier today for a visit. She asked Me what she described as a sensitive question: how do I feel about the Trump Presidency?
I said, “Everything that happens happens because it’s s’posed’ta happen; obviously he’s the home-grown weed that this prescription-popping Population needs right now. Plus, I don’t follow the Laws anyway, so I don’t really pay attention to Politics.”
Later that day I went for a hike, sat in a tree, and participated in Nature for a few minutes, enjoying the vibrations. With the residual Political theme in my mind, I got thinking: I know why Trump won and Hillary lost the presidential election of 2016.
Like the street sign, Hillary is part of the Political scenery. She rolls with the Status Quo, keeps the Public aware of what was already built in the past. It’s not that She Herself wouldn’t make any of the Necessary Changes, She’s just incapable of it because Her life up to this point gave Her the mindstate and beliefs which She has. Trump, on the other hand, is like the box truck: he uses the roads to deliver the goods to the customers, or in other words, uses the Systems that have already been built to bring the Necessary Changes to the Grand Populous, who He ironically sees as customers anyway. He’s capable of seeing what needs to be changed because of His life experience up to this point, just like Hillary isn’t.
While I’m at it, let’s get symbolic; just look at how Trump and Hillary are identified by the General Population. Hillary uses Her first name, Her own individual identity; She is entirely fueled by Her own ego, looking out for Herself and Those Who Will Do What She Says. Trump is identified by His last name, His family’s identity; He may be fueled by an ego, but it’s a family ego, an ego that’s been used to take care of many Trumps over the course of History. If I said Donald and Clinton after the semi-colon, it would have seemed odd, just a little off, like it would have taken You a second to actually realize about whom I was talking. Or maybe not, because of context clues, but I digress.
Hillary is out for Hillary and all the Hillaries out there, blood-related or not, and Trump is out for all the Trumps out there, blood-related or not, and look, there are more Trumps out there than there are Hillaries; you really think a Universe as brilliantly put together as ours would let the Hillaries win?
But Hillary’s out of Politics now, if She was using it to finger Her ego then She would still be in the game. She’s a Writer now, haven’t I heard? She spends Her time Writing down Her Thoughts that She comes up with in Her head to share with Her Followers. Her story is very empowering, just look at how She came back after Her being cheated on became national news! Clearly no ego there. No reason to feed one, either! Now that I’ve fleshed it out and read it back to myself, I really don’t know where I got the idea in the first place. Oh well, all part of The Process.
And Trump, well, Trump is pushing and passing preposterous policies that literally leave a lingering smell of the eleven-hundreds, plainly plagued with His Individual Biases and Beliefs. Clearly He’s just jacking His ego ‘til He hits the moon with a new coat of paint. Sure, successful souls are saved, but what about The Rest of Us who want to waste our world wallowing in the water at the bottom of the old weathered well?
The Washington Monument
Listen, if You don’t like living how Politicians tell You to live, stop paying attention to what the Dickheads say. Dick is ego, and whether it’s an Individual ego or a familial ego, all Politicians are focused on one thing: the growth and sustainment of their ego. The Washington Monument, a timeless reminder of the First President of the United States, is a giant erect cock with the head replaced by a point; literally America’s ego, the reminder that no matter what you say, America was fought for and won by one of the greatest humans who ever lived.
And how He was; George Washington tossed the plans for his monument when He was President, the man didn’t want to waste the Taxpayer’s Money. Washington didn’t commission or endorse His own monument, just like He didn’t advise America dividing into two Political Parties. But here We are, the latchkey children of those who did not listen to their great leader; we live in the long shadow of the Washington Monument in a twisted dystopian fantasy novel written by the Huxley or the Orwell living in the universe where the Humans of America didn’t fuck up. Here the fuck we are.
Don’t rebel, don’t burn shops down, don’t riot or make a fuss. Just live in Your own way.
“But then there would be no System of Checks and Balances, you dumbass! Humans would go Crazy and kill each other!”
Keep calling other humans dumbasses, see how long You last before You get properly checked and balanced on a sheet, lowered into a hole by your crying loved ones. We all believe in something, and when enough humans believe in that something, there’s a good chance that something is fuckin’ dogma.
A Simple Joke
At the end of the day, You don’t have to act on My Words. I never asked You to, after all. I just want You to laugh at My Words, if you happen to read them. I’m just a self-diagnosed shaman who likes to Write, after all. Nothing more, nothing less. Wow, isn’t it incredible that I got this far from a simple joke My grandMother made? Don’t You love My Words, Dear Followers and Hypothetical Readers? Don’t You love this stain of intellectual shit smeared on the seat of My underwear? grandMother loved it, so what choice did i have but to include it here in my second ever book?
What other choice did i have?!
This has been the appendix of the book Roadtrip: The ¡Gramango! Edition. Here is everything you need to know about it:
The ¡Gramango! Edition
- A satirical travel novella about an author reading the actual travel novella to his grandmother
- Book stats:
– 202 pages
– 37,117 words
– Spiral: The Highest One Writing | Arc: II
– Series: W-63 | Entry: 2
– Revision Date: June 10, 2021
- Click here to read the book for free
- Buy from Amazon:
– eBook: $2.50
– Paperback: $5.46
- Buy from The Hillside Commons:
– Signed Paperback: $14.00
I’ve written a few other books, too. Click here to see the list.
The Hillside Commons has a Facebook page, too. Here’s that.
If you’re there, hypothetical reader, thank you for being there. From this day on, we move forever forward~