I’m Tired – The 2020 Event |The Sideshows| (58/82)

Godspace: Inside The Box 2
I’m Tired

Jeff

“Hah there, ahm Della Ware, from Delaware. Nah, before you’s go sayin’ to me, Wit’ a name like ‘dat you should live in Massachusetts! well, ahm actually from Connecticut. Yah see, ah neva’ thought ah’d be slayin’ ‘deez dragons an’ slingin’ toast’ems fer a livin’, ye’ kno? But mah momma? Momma knew.”

“Uh.”

“But AH neva’ LISTENED. Wanna know why? Kuz MAMMA wuz a SCOOBA DIVAH. And YEW! Mista’ two leprechauns short of a full expresso, what stocks are YEW tryna’ moisturize before the whole fish market comes bubblin’ up on us?”

“WHAT IN YOUR NAME ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, DELLA? ALL I WANT TO DO IS ORDER A BIG CHEESE WITH FRIES!”

“Well. That will be two dollahs an’ eighty-seven CENT, then. And, I must tell you, my name is Jeff. Geoffrey Vallgut Thomas, the one and only kaboose.”

Bill pays for his food and waits a moment, keeping his peepers trained to the ground as to avoid eye contact with the strange man who is mentally rearranging Bill’s face as I type. Tray in hand, Bill scurries over to a table, inhales his slop, throws the tray like a flying disk, and beats feet before it lands on the garbage can.

Fin


Hello Commons, this has been the second story from the twelfth chapter of The 2020 Event |The Sideshows|, a satirical short story anthology about Existence and the universes that float within it. |The Sideshows| is the final book of the First Spiral, a longer story called The Highest One Writing.

The Highest One Writing is a story about an author told through the books he wrote. It starts with a self-help book and ends with the destruction of Existence. Also, it may or may not take you to the depths of insanity and back.

|The Sideshows| is available to read for free in its entirety on my website. Click here to check it out.

I’ve written a few other books, too. Click here to see the list.

If you like |The Sideshows| and would like to help support my work, click here and buy an autographed copy (or anything else!) from my store. Alternatively, you can snag a cheaper (and unsigned) copy from Amazon by clicking here, OR you can buy the ebook for even cheaper here.

If you’re there, hypothetical reader, thank you for being there. Be well Commons~

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