Sept the Fourth (cont’d)
It’s been an hour and I have nothing. I need some breakfast, maybe that’ll help me think.
Oh, I’ve been meaning to write this down since last month: I figured out the correct way to make oatmeal, you ready?
So you take two packets of Quaker Oats low sugar instant oatmeal, the kind that comes in the variety box with the apple cinnamon flavor, the cinnamon and spice flavor, and the maple brown sugar flavor. Take two packets, any two you want, I like to mix the apple cinnamon and the cinnamon and spice because those old Apple Jax commercials with the Cinna-Mon character, “Here I come I am Cinn-a-Mon, AY!” and you put ‘em in a bowl. Next, you add a cup of milk.
PSYCH! You do not add milk, because you are not a measly milkdrinker! And before you even say it, Journal, you don’t put it into the microwave either. That’s a big no. Big ol’ fat ol’ gargantuan ol’ NO.
What you do, Journal, is you boil a cup of water with a tea bag in it, but not just any kind of teabag. A bag of licorice spice tea. By the time the water is boiled the tea is perfectly steeped, so then you pour the tea into the oatmeal, mix it up like you’re scrambling an egg, let it sit for a minute so you can go on tasting things for the rest of the day, and boom. The greatest, most delectable oatmeal on the fucking planet.
You. Are. Welcome to try it yourself, except you’re not. Because you. Are. A. Notebook, a journal named Journal.
… … …
Good god, the procrastination is real. Why can’t I write this much for my novel?
Hello Commons, this has been the next journal entry from Untitled Bigfoot Project, a novel about a writer who writes a novel about bigfoot.
Untitled Bigfoot Project is part of the Third Spiral, an anthology of sorts called The Here and Now which is comprised of stories told from the various planes of Existence.
Untitled Bigfoot Project is available to read for free in its entirety on my website. Click here to check it out.
I’ve written a few other books, too. Click here to see the list.
If you like Untitled Bigfoot Project and would like to help support my work, click here and buy an autographed copy of the book (or anything else!) from my store. Alternatively, you can snag a cheaper (and unsigned) copy from Amazon by clicking here OR you can buy the ebook for even cheaper here.
If you’re there, hypothetical reader, thank you for being there. Be well Commons~