They’re Crazy – Under the Hood: TIoJK (5/44)

Dirty Cops

Them movin’ in from the city… it’s poisoning our town.


They’re Crazy

After Chief Maxwell explains the first step of the plan to abduct the child the damn dirty cops mean to sacrifice to an alleged meteor, Jonathan takes the headphones out of his ears. He doesn’t want to hear anymore, doesn’t need to. In truth the decision was made before he even left his house, but still some part of Jonathan was holding out for proof. Well, he has his proof. These Fellers, five Wuester police officers led by who else but the town’s police chief, are damn dirty racist pigs. They’re going to abduct a child based solely on the color of her skin, and they’re going to sacrifice her to bring a rock falling out of space.

Well, they’re planning to abduct the child, at least. But they’re not going to go through with it. Not this time, not as long as Jonathan Knox has something to say about it.

‘They’ve clearly lost what’s left of their damn minds,’ Jonathan Knox rationalizes as he slips the rubber gloves onto his hands. ‘The chief said it himself, they’re forming a cult. They have to be stopped.’

Jonathan pats his pocket. The matches rattle inside their box. He reaches into the space below the glovebox and takes up the gas can, resting it on his lap.

‘And I’m the only one who can stop them.’

The cold and blowing wind of a blustery March night kisses Jonathan sloppily on the cheek like a relative at a holiday party who you don’t see all too often. He sneers against it, clutching the gas can tightly as rigid chills of uncomfort bolster his body with gooseflesh. Two steps down the road he turns around to stare at his idling smart car, then goes back to it and shuts it off, taking his keys with him. They won’t catch him, they won’t even know he was there, they’ll just smell smoke and suddenly the house will collapse, cave in on top of them; still, an empty car parked on the side of the road left to run is suspicious. Better safe than sorry.

Trudging up the road Jonathan looks up into the sky and sees the moon, almost full and shining brighter than all the little stars around it, even though it doesn’t shine with its own light. Kind of like Daniel Maxwell and all his little cronies; they’re filthy racist pigs, despicable, so empty in the head that they can’t come up with their own way to see the world. They have to steal an ideology from somewhere else, and it’s a shitty ideology, too. Jonathan Knox is no saint, he knows it fine enough, but he doesn’t judge folks based on the color of their skin. He doesn’t conspire to sacrifice an innocent child just to summon a meteor, for God’s sake; all he does is eavesdrop on his neighbors! Jonathan Knox is a saint compared to these cretins. Jonathan Knox is acting under the will of God, for God’s sake; those cops, those, those Fellers? They’re… well, they’re a Goddamned cult! They’re crazy!  They have to be stopped!!

The gasoline sloshes against the inside of the gas can. It’s heavy in Jonathan’s hand, but nothing he can’t carry.

It’s not a short walk from the spot Jonathan parked his car to the front door of Daniel Maxwell’s dark house. A short drive, yes; when Jonathan first got here earlier he parked right across the street, but then thought better of himself and decided it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Especially when dealing with the cops.

“Fucking pigs,” Jonathan mumbles aloud as the heels of his shoes scrape the dark pavement. “All they do is kill… kill and plot and kill some more…” Jonathan doesn’t hear himself speaking. “Well I think it’s time someone killed them.”

Very faintly Jonathan hears the hum of a car rolling up the road. He blocks it out at first, mostly because he doesn’t want it to be real, but then he sees the yellow slivers of headlight peeking through the trees to his right. Cannonball is a straight shot towards the center of town except here at the end where it curves like a candy cane, ending in a cul-de-sac surrounded by houses. Maxwell’s place is right along the bend, but Jonathan doesn’t know who else lives on this road. He knows they’re probably all cops, but he doesn’t know which cops. Jonathan didn’t account for being spotted by someone, he only thought of the cops in the basement – ‘Damn dirty cops,’ – but here someone comes! In a minute they’ll see him, they’ll see weird creepy ol’ Jonathan Knox trudging up Cannonball Road with a full can of gasoline in one hand and a bright white halo above his head but they won’t see the halo, they’ll only see the gas can. They’ll only see a villain, and they’ll probably veer over and strike him down where he stands thinking they’re acting under the will of God.

Biting his tongue so he doesn’t scream at the top of his lungs, Jonathan dashes off the road and leaps into the forest, landing hard on the frozen dirt and knocking the wind clear out of his lungs. He struggles about for a few seconds, lungs refusing to breathe, the dark of the night growing murkier as the black clouds of unconsciousness threaten to steal him asunder, then he breathes. Then he scurries behind a tree. Then he realizes he dropped his gas can so he scurries back out into the open, fumbles around in the dark until he bangs his knuckles against the unforgiving hard plastic, and hauls the gas can back behind the tree with him.

Two full minutes pass and the car never comes. It seems to have turned into a driveway down the road. Jonathan can see the red glow of the car’s back lights, the driver forgot to turn them off. Then they shut off as he’s getting up; looks like the driver had nothing to do with it.

Jonathan looks both ways before getting back on the street this time. No cars coming or going. He checks his pocket for the matches again and lo and behold they’re still there, rattling like a maraca inside their flimsy box. The gas can is still full, but he doesn’t need to shake it around to tell that. He can tell that just from the weight.

“Stop getting distracted,” Jonathan demands himself. There’s sweat on his forehead. He doesn’t want to wipe it off. “You have a job to do. So go do it, Jonathan Knox. Go do your work.”

Gas can in hand, Jonathan Knox continues along up the road.


Hello Commons, this has been the fourth subchapter of the first chapter of Under the Hood: The Imprisonment of Jonathan Knox, a novel about a man who likes to eavesdrop on his neighbors.

Under the Hood: The Imprisonment of Jonathan Knox is the second book in the W-2222 series, a series of books which take place in Universe W-2222.

Under the Hood: The Imprisonment of Jonathan Knox is available to read for free in its entirety on my website. Click here to check it out.

I’ve written a few other books, too. Click here to see the list.

If you like Under the Hood: The Imprisonment of Jonathan Knox and would like to help support my work, click here and buy an autographed copy of the book (or anything else!) from my store. Alternatively, you can snag a cheaper (and unsigned) copy from Amazon by clicking here OR you can buy the ebook for even cheaper here.

If you’re there, hypothetical reader, thank you for being there. Be well Commons~

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