Glasscrutch Style | The Bookmaker’s Note 5/7/21

Writing log: TBN +1,358 words

• • •

So I didn’t do any bookmaking today. It’s the Friday of the first full week of the month so I went to the auction hall and got my check (more than doubled last month’s, fill y’r pockets boi), got my mobile banking app set up after a year of putting it off, I put up a DVD ad on Facebook – I recently bought a lot of 87 DVDs for $20 then got ten more DVDs for free plus a decorative wooden duck and a set of ceramic dip bowls that look like a football when you stack them all up and a pair of old wood folding chairs but they’re tiny, they’re decorative chairs hypothetical reader-… no! This isn’t one of the Existence books, this is The Note. From this sentence on, y’all are my noted readers and y’all will be referred to as such.

So as I was saying, I paid $20 for a lot of 87 pieces and then added 13 to it. I put up ads for 10 DVDs and the decorative chairs today, and I cleaned up some shit I had left strewn about in my parents’ garage oh hold up, y’all will love this. So The Hillside Commons was named after a campsite I made in the woods up the road. At the end of my road there’s a pond with a lawn and a big patch of woods behind it, everybody who lives in the immediate area pays an annual membership fee and it’s private property so, as members, we can do more or less whatever the fuck we want. Most folks ride their mountain bikes and dirtbikes and ATVs and I’ve seen a few’a’those fuckin’ 4×4 golf-cart-on-steroids bullshits, oh yeah, seen a few‘a’them. There’s a trail that goes over the top of Board Mountain (if you read The Highest One Writing you know what the fuck is up) and I was once hiking up there to read a book or something and I came across some redneck-ass hillbilly fucks with their 4x4s stuck in the mud up there on top of Board Mountain and its 888 feet of elevation and they had girls with them and the girls were sitting in the 4x4s hiding from their own decisions or something and the guys were putzing around so I was like What’s goin’ on, guys? and one of ’em went Our shit’s stuck in the fuckin’ mud! and I was like Well goddamn, that sucks! and I wished ’em good luck as I blazed off into the woods towards the secret camping spot I call The True Commons (again, if you know you know) and I don’t even remember where I started this, but I have something THOW-related I’ve been needing to share for a long time. In the back of The 2020 Event |The Sideshows| there is another book called Boardtrip: Cans, Cannabis, and The Hillside Commons. This book is very difficult to explain, it’s hidden in the back of the last book in a 6-book series for fuck’s sake.

Christ, I think I should mention something. I have not slept in 36 hours. There is a reason for that. On a related note, today I met an employee of a business located somewhere in NJ that sells treats. These treats go anywhere from $$ to $$$ and they are delivered by independent contractors who carry legally acceptable quantities of herbs and are known to gift you specific quantities of the aforementioned herbs, which they are legally allowed to do so long as you are over 21 and you both consent. The employee I met was one of these independent contractors. I met him in my driveway.

Cannabis is legal in New Jersey now. I will have no difficulty sleeping tonight. :}

The guy was super chill, he gave me a $10 break because for every $100 you spend you’re supposed to get a free preroll and he was all out and I tipped him by teaching him my glasscrutch joint (aka fatboi aka paper blunt) method and giving him a one-hitter as a tip. I got 10 of these tiny little one-hitters for $20 from one headshop or another and I kept the purple one and the rest have no use to me. I give them away as often as I can. Today was the first time I taught someone the glasscrutch style though, it was awesome. He seemed to really appreciate it and he even gifted me a free eighth of pineapple express!


So, back to what I was trying to tell you. There is a chapter in Boardtrip called 15| Chapter 12:
Horseshoe Trail Redux: Purple Bend
(you can click that link and it should take you there, if you’re curious). This chapter has a single subchapter, titled The Brained Man Gives Chase, and in it, the aforementioned brained man is going up a hill with the suited man and he says he remembers hiding a purple glass doorknob at the foot of a tree right off the trail, and that’s why that part of the trail is called purple bend. When he finds the spot where the doorknob is supposed to be hidden, it’s not there. He remembers hiding it there, but it isn’t there in the book.

Wanna know why?

Because it’s there in real life.

Before all that, I was trying to say that this little operation I’ve got going on here The Hillside Commons is named after a campsite I built in the woods on the pond property. I took a rake back there and cleared a big circular area, then lined with with big rocks. Built a little firepit. Boom. Campsite. The first is called The Hillside Commons, the second is called The Island because it is between two rivers, the third is called Base Camp because it sits at the base of two mountains (Board and Bear), the fourth is The True Commons and it’s hidden off the trail on top of Board and the fifth – the one I have been trying to tell you about from the beginning – is called The Eagle’s Nest, and it’s different from all the rest. Camping there is actually feasible. The ground is flat, unlike numbers 1 and 4, and it’s the closest to the pond out of all five of them. It’s a 10 minute walk, if that. I could probably run from the pond to The Eagle’s Nest in under 2 minutes. I once ran from the pond to the summit of Board Mountain in 11 minutes. 7 of those minutes was climbing the mountain. All 888 feet of the goddamn thing. But The Eagle’s Nest, noted reader, The Eagle’s Nest is fucking dope. It’s basically an outdoor living room with a firepit. I have no less than 5 pots/planters back there all filled with dirt and ready for greenery, there’s a framed antique painting of a lake scene, there’s a couple decorative plates, a patio table with a heavy glass top, someone else in the area brought a propane Coleman grill and a wooden chair and stashed ’em there, it’s fucking awesome. I recently found the roach of what could only be a prerolled cone joint, and I haven’t smoked one of those in years. I built this dope little outdoor living room area and one of my neighbors found it. That shit is hidden well off the trail, too. They had to be exploring around to stumble across it. That’s fucking awesome. The Eagle’s Nest is the thing I said you would love earlier. It’s 100% real, totally exists. I’m gonna be like that treehouse guy on Animal Planet except I’ll build chill-ass smoking spots in the woods hahahaaaaaaa. Imagine.

Well, I think that about does it for the day. Sleep will soon be had. Today was a very necessary day. Not much bookmaking got done (aside from this post, which will end on page 53 of The Bookmaker’s Note Volume 1 so long as it gets printed as a 9×6 and not a 10×7. I tried doing this gag once before but I forgot to fill in the numbers afterwards. Oops.

Since you’re there, noted reader, thank you for being there. From this day on, we move forever forward~

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