Oct the Sixteenth
Ending at the very top of page 58, chapter Monday: Noises is plugged into the working manuscript. That’s what I called the Word file, “Working Manuscript”. I don’t know why I wrote that. I don’t know why I’m even journaling right now, I’m exhausted. This whole “reading each subchapter twice before plugging it into Word” thing is kind of exhausting, makes me feel like it’s a waste of time. Like, I’m going to read through it at least three more times before I go to publish it, why am I bothering to do it twice first? Whatever, it’s my first book; worst case scenario, my process will improve because of this and the next book will be more streamlined.
Speaking of which, I’m’a outline what I’d like my process to be going forward, like, after TFoF is done:
- Rough Draft: Write it in Scrivener, read it ONCE in Scrivener, name the subchapters/chapters/whatever
- First Draft: Copy/paste into Word, read through and format/eliminate justify gaps
- Second Draft: Read through, make sure I wrote what I wanted to write, order proof copy
- Third Draft: Proofread proof copy, make corrections in Word, publish
Blegh… how does that seem too long and too short at the same time? I don’t know. Thinking about all this shit stresses me out so much, I’m not go’n’a lie. I guess I’ll figure it out as time goes on, I don’t know. Maybe the proof copy is totally unnecessary, or maybe reading it in Scrivener is totally unnecessary. I don’t know. I can’t know. Please forgive me, father, for I know not what I do, I’m just going with the flow like an animal in a zoo. Maybe the whole “first, second, and third draft” thing is the problem, like, that nonsense has been drilled into my head ever since I was in school… or maayybe I’m just tired and anxious because I processed, like, 20,000 words today and my brain is ready to keel over.
… … …
I need to write about something else.
I was hardly able to see Tori this week, and I know for a fact that it’s been bothering me. Like, I went to the library and saw her and stuff, but we can’t really hang out there, and being able to be alone with each other between the shelves is getting more difficult (I think the other librarians might be catching on). Also, she’s had to go straight home after work every day, we haven’t even been able to take a walk or anything. And she’s going up to her grandmother’s this weekend again, so I won’t be able to see her then… I’m getting kind of worried, Journal. I love her, and she says she loves me too, and I believe her, but like… I don’t know. Something just feels weird. She’s the first actual girlfriend I’ve ever had, so maybe I’m just overreacting, but… I don’t know. We originally had plans for tonight but she had to cancel them because they’re leaving right after she gets home from work instead of on Saturday. Well, not cancel, she said she’d be able to come over on Tuesday night for at least a few hours, but still… I miss by baby.
Maybe that’s the real reason I’ve been bugging out so much lately, I’m just lonely. The last time I was this lonely I was smoking so much weed I didn’t feel alone, but now I’m not smoking (nor am I going to, because I don’t want to make The Face of Fear any harder than it already is) so everything feels super real. Yeah, maybe that’s it.
If that’s the case then the solution is easy: just buckle down and keep working until the tide comes in. Today’s Friday (a day of War, and how fitting is it that I’m at war with myself LOL) and there’s only four more days until the night when Tori comes over. Four days, seven parts of my book. If I do two a day then I’ll only have the short story at the end to worry about on the day that Tori comes by, but on the other hand the chapter lengths are not even and doing two a day right now might make me have a stroke. So… fuck it, I guess I’ll just go with the flow. I’m tired as shit so I think I’m done for today. Tomorrow is the longest chapter, also the first one in present tense besides the Exordium, so at least I have that to look forward to.
Ugh. Loneliness is a bitch, Journal. You’re lucky you don’t have a consciousness, you’d probably have killed yourself by now.
… … …
Say thankya, Journal. ‘Preciate ya. Long days and pleasant nights~
This has been the next journal entry from Untitled Bigfoot Project. Here is everything you need to know about it:
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If you’re there, hypothetical reader, thank you for being there. From this day on, we move forever forward~