Bookmaking log: became the bookmaker | TBN +539 words
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I’m basically playing catch-up today. I got the Instagram all linked up to the Facebook and the WordPress, I made myself an author page on Amazon, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I think that’s actually it lol. Jeff Bezos flew to my house with a jetpack last night to privately and respectfully let me know they would be unable to publish the secret project unless I put the title on either the front cover or the spine. I was distraught, the defeat was getting to me, the children were frolicking merrily in the street and the fully automatic assault weapon was making loud with its haunting serenade… but then Jeff Bezos lifted my chin with a curled index finger, looked me in the eyes, and gave me a little smile.
“We can make it happen, bookmaker,” Jeff Bezos said to me last night whilst he hovered outside my window with his jetpack. “Just put the title on the front and it’ll all be fine.”
The scent of cooking ass flesh was alive on the air, but Jeff wasn’t flinching. He must have noticed me staring at him with nostrils flared, for his smile expanded like a hot universe. &/or ballsack.
“You need to have a tough ass in my line of work.”
Shit. I crumpled to my bedroom floor. He killed me, Jeff Bezos fucking slaughtered me right there and then, Jesus fucking Christ the savagery of it all. Then I opened my eyes and saw the truth – Jeff Bezos reached in with an extendable bionic arm made of nanobots, probably, and helped me to my feet.
“I’ll do it,” I swore to him. “I’ll put the title on the cover, and I’ll do it in a way that doesn’t take away from my artistic vision. I’ll make the cover even better; hell, I’ll finish the cover!”
Tears burst from his eyelids so hard he was carried away. I never saw Jeff Bezos again after that, but it was only, like… less than 20 hours ago. He might come back. To congratulate me, of course, on the redesigned cover of the secret project. I resubmitted it last night and the KDP page currently says PUBLISHING sooooo I’m thinking the announcement is going to come tomorrow. Whoop!
So yeah, ‘mans, check out my author page on Amazon. I thought it was going to be a grueling process to get it set up, but it literally took me 10 minutes. Most of which were spent claiming my 19,000,000 books. Heh. I also started the redesign for the Flowers cover and made a post out of it on Instagram, so that’s kind of cool. It feels good to get this shit set up, makes me feel all sorts of official. Oh, I just remembered, I linked this blog to the Amazon author page, so theoretically this should show up there too.
Now that I’m actually thinking about it, this is fucking tight. I’m kinda all set up right now, I fucked around and turned myself into an easily accessible and inanely prolific artist. Holy shit, ladies’n’germs, the bookmaker is real!
Since you’re there, noted reader, thank you for being there. From this day on, we move forever forward~