Flowers | TBN BTS

Let me take you back, noted reader, to the autumn of 2020. I was in a desperate situation. The money was low, and none was coming in anytime soon. There wasn’t enough weed, and there was more than enough writing. I was in the middle of Untitled Bigfoot Project, a novel in which a ‘man named Sidney Blake transitions from being addicted to weed to being addicted to writing. However, I was still convinced the purpose of my life was to smoke weed, not write books, and so I needed to get myself through that transition.

So, I did. I smoked the rest of my weed – a strain called Hippie Crippler and aptly so, as it crippled the fuck out of my hippie, let me tell you – in 5 days, and during those 5 days I wrote the novel Flowers. Flowers tells the story of a man wandering through an ashen apocalypse to get back to his apartment and smoke the rest of his weed and it goes deep, okay? It was literally me teaching myself that the books need to come before the weed, at least as far as my priorities go. The weed helps me make the books, helps me remain emotionally stable, helps my digestive system work properly, ‘man, my mom even admitted to me that I’m better off smoking weed now that it’s legal and I can get it, weed is huge for me, ‘man, but at the time of Flowers the world was different. The weed was illegal, the strayghts were dire, and I thought the Universe was telling me it was time to give up the herb for good.

So I did.

Flowers was my final goodbye to cannabis, and it actually worked. I didn’t smoke for a solid 6 months after finishing Flowers, and I needed that time off. The Universe did, too, because during that time off New Jersey legalized weed and the crafty sons of bitches makin’ shit happen in Jersey for those of us with sense enough to enjoy smoking cannabis figured out how to make shit happen for those of us with sense enough to enjoy smoking cannabis, and now I’m smoking again and I’m going back and finishing my old work before moving onto the future, I’m straightening my shit out right now, ‘man. I’d be a dirty fucking liar if I were to claim that the weed had nothing to do with it, fuckin’, the sun don’t shine as bright if there’s no smoke to catch the light and spread it around, ‘man, come on!

But the herb aside, Flowers was powerful for me. I don’t know that anyone else will get what I got out of it, but it’s also book 1 of The Fall of the Seven Earths, which explores the psychephrenic pantheon of Astral Gods I got goin’ on for myself in a way that involves characters named Howie “Hoots” McGee and Jonathan Knox and Master God of Control George W. Bush, so uh… yeah, I’m just gonna say this, I didn’t plan for it to happen but I’ve literally evolved into the crazy guy who writes fiction so the ideas don’t drive him truly insane. I’m not the next Stephen King or Charles Bukowski or anything like that, no no no, I’m the bookmaker, you sloppy illiterate fucks, what I do is make books and Imma do what I do whether or not my books get read, and I have a lot of books to make… and uh, there’s only one way to find out what the nutbar scribbles, if you toke what I’m blowin’ here.

By the way, from this day on I’m offering free [PDF] ebooks (any of my books and as many as you want; there’s a list on my website, it’s not hard to find) to anybody who says they’ll give me a review on Amazon. There’s no way for me to ensure you’ll write the review, but I’ll still give you the ebook. All the writing is available on my website anyway, why the fuck not? Shoot me an email or a Facebook message or something, we’ll figure it out. I’ve written over 1,000,000 words and never used “person” nor “people” a single fucking time, I’m pretty sure I can help us figure out how to get you a free ebook. Step on the bridge, ‘man, I’ll sense the vibration and appear in a cloud of bagpipe music, you don’t fuckin’ know.

Also, speaking of the reviews, I want to start a blog series where I react to my book reviews, so if you write me a review and sneak the word electric into it I’ll put your review into a blog post and let you know what the bookmaker thinks of your sloppy illiterate fuck of an opinion. It’ll go great, don’t worry. Nothing can possibly go wrong.

This is exciting, ‘man. Feels really good to be getting work done, and I only want to do more. Book 2 of The Fall of the Seven Earths will be done in a couple weeks, if that, and then book 3 will be right behind it. Then I’m going to finalize Untitled Bigfoot Project, at which point I’ll be totally current, at which point I ~might~ reveal some details about the other shit I’m setting up for the rest of the year.

But that’s all then; this is now, and now, the final version of Flowers is officially available for purchase from Amazon and The Hillside Commons, and this has been the behind the scenes for said Flowers. There wasn’t a whole lot to it, like, I needed to show myself that I was better off giving up weed and being obsessed with the books, and that’s what I did. Didn’t really take any notes, wrote it all in 5 days. Highest single day word count was 21,000 I think. I’m the bookmaker, ‘man, this is just the kind of shit I get up to when I’m left to my own devices. See you soon πŸ˜‰

Since you’re there, noted reader, thank you for being there. From this day on, we move forever forward~

Edit: I had an epiphany and now you can just get the PDF straight from my website. I’ll give the grand ol’ rant about the whole thing on Monday

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