the call of duty | TBN 8-28-21

Bookmaking log: UBP submitted for publishing, waiting for paperback approval | TBN +389 words

• • •

first of all, the pdf and Amazon eBook of UBP are up. get it for free if you want, buy it if you want, it’s all there. thought the paperback would be approved by now but it’s not; what am I gonna do but move forever forward?

Yeah ‘man, I got it done yesterday. Sat my ass down on the couch and played the call of duty. Fell into a lobby with 3 other folks, a dude with his kid and a third guy who didn’t have a mic. The pair timed out during world 3. The guy with no mic timed out during world 4. I tried to exfil, went into a portal, got thrown to the other side of the map, made it to the exfil site though, the time was ticking but I only needed to kill 23 zombies and I had a goddamn flamethrower, it was simple, it wasn’t even a challenge, it was a joke, it was a goddamn fucking insult to my capabilities as one who slaughters the undead when his mind is so fried from making books all the time that he needs to mindlessly slaughter the undead in order to come back to baseline

but then I got down to 3 zombies

and there was only one megaton in the land

so i shot him in the fucking head ’til he started screaming louder than I was

when i killed him, the number went to 2. he splits in half when you kill him, the radioactive sonofabitch, the absolute mutated fuck. So I killed them both too, but then a last random zombie ran in from out the bounds of the exfil circle and I was reloading and there was .01 seconds left and THE GODDAMN OMEGA GROUP SHOT THE FUCKING HELICOPTER DOWN

RAPTOR-ONE WENT DOWN, NOTED READER

AND THANKFULLY I WASN’T ON BOARD lmfao

so I’m stuck here in the outbreak zone, it seems

stranded in the Ural mountains

nobody around but the undead

and you know what the bitch about the undead is?

they’re sloppy

and they’re fucks

and you know what else?

they can’t fuckin’ read, either

Since you’re there, noted reader, thank you for being there. From this day on, we move forever forward~

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