Son of a Bitch
• • •
The turtle glides from its shell like an oiled child riding a wet slip’n’slide (or something else child-related) when the shooting begins. Jonathan Knox falls forward and opens the shithouse door by bashing his forehead against it, then pulls his pants up and crawls the rest of the way out. Almost as if the Universe is trying to be serendipitous, the shooting ceases at the moment the shithouse door slams shut. Jonathan Knox keeps low to the grass, fingers dug in, ears wide open.
Is this boring? I feel like this is boring. It might just be me, but I honestly feel like this book is mad boring. And stupid. And quite possibly not worth making. I don’ow, maybe it’s just me… or maybe this whole Universe was a gigantic waste of time…
“See?” says the muffled voice of Cletus Doe. “I told you he’d start shootin’!”
There’s a satisfying chucc-chucc, like the sound of a shell being chambered in a pump shotgun, then an explosion which shatters all the windows in the log cabin.
“I daht it!”
A piecemeal procession of shotgunnish explosions shortly follows. Jonathan Knox covers his ears and squints against the noise, but it’s no use. The booms punch through his hands like pellets through flesh and wood. When he finally opens his eyes Jonathan Knox sees smoke and fire pouring out of what were once the cabin’s windows alongside bullets beaming through the log walls like they were made of tree bark.
If ever there was a time to skedaddle, now’d probably be the time. Jonathan Knox crawls his way to the treeline and keeps on crawling until he can no longer see the rapidly dilapidating log cabin behind him. A tree helps him stand and off he hobbles into the woodlands of Bionic Wuester, limping on his right toes so his ruined foot won’t drag as much. Hopefully. The gash in said foot doesn’t hurt less with each step he takes, but it doesn’t start droolin’ again either, so at least there’s that.
Jonathan Knox’s footpace is steady ‘til the shooting finally peters out in the distance. Then he hobbles forward with fury, for he very well may be hobbling for his life.
This has been the third subchapter of the second chapter of the book Over the River: The Emancipation of Jonathan Knox. Here is everything you need to know about it:
Over the River
The Emancipation of Jonathan Knox
Over the River is the third book in a trilogy called The Fall of the Seven Earths. I’ve also released that trilogy as a single book called The Fall of the Seven Earths. Here’s everything you need to know about it:
The Fall of the Seven Earths
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If you’re there, hypothetical reader, thank you for being there. From this day on, we move forever forward~