So far as I am aware, Sto’town could very well be the only human civilization on this planet Earth. Perhaps the rest of society fell somehow. Perhaps it had something to do with tech. Chips in the brain, keeping the consciousness anchored to the Universe long after the body was meant to decompose … that’s what’s coming to me. I don’t know. It’s what’s coming to this High God mind I got goin’ on in my head, but I don’t know. And I never will know. After this Sto’tryp, I’m out. I’ll find another Earth, I’m sure, I’ll be fine, but after this? Gonzo. Bye-bye.
‘Cause, see, every planet in this Universe is an Earth, and every Earth has something special about it, is unique in some way. This Earth… well, it has a thing. And who’s to say that this Earth is the most interesting one?
Who’s to say this Earth is even worth staying around for? Who’s to say staying this long has been worth it, that this journey will be worth the destination it brings?
Not me, that’s for sure… Bookmaker Adam, though. If anybody is to say what’s what around here, it’s probably Him. He told me everything I already knew, he’s factual, clearly, but… I don’t really know if he’s to be trusted.
Shit, this might be the last Earth left in this infinite Universe of Earths.
Or, it might be the first, the dullest, the most shallow, the… firstest, I guess.
None of that matters. What matters is what’s right in front of me, and in this case, that’s a bridge. No sidewalks, either. Damn. Last bastion of civilization couldn’t even be bothered to put in sidewalks. Got guardrails on the bridge though, so that’s… good. Can hardly tell it’s a bridge, it’s just a road. The river beneath it’s hardly two feet deep, the fuck? Not the, not the depth, it’s…
The river runs red with the blood of the fallen.
Along we go, then. There’s a little parking spot, says NO PARKING, FIRE SUCTION POINT on a big metal sign. I look around. Hardly anything here but the trees and a place to park. Yeah, sign’s accurate. Definitely a fire suction point.
“This isn’t good, Rattlesnake.”
You (He? It’s Tom Foolery talking, so… I don’t know) called me Rattlesnake, so I sprint as fast as I can to you’s side.
“What?” I say, “Hey, what, what is it now? Here, let me look, here, see, let me look here.”
You doesn’t.
“I tested the water,” as you lets me see with my eyes only the device you was dipping in the river. Got a thin little tuning fork stickin’ out the top, that’s the part that went in the water. See? I pay attention. “It’s blood. Human blood.”
“Okay.”
“Most of it’s dry.”
“W–… what?”
“The blood. All the blood in the riverwater,” you says, standing, “Tungstok, all the blood!”
I ba’k’d way off but you’re approachin’ qui’k, I’m about to bolt for Sto’town Ro’ tell you the fuckin’ truth, just as soon as I finish this sentence oh fuck it I’m jus
I hit the dirt. You hits me, and I manage to hit the dirt a second time. Story of my fuckin’ life, right?
Psych, you bitch! OOOOO you little bitch! Nah, ‘man, I crouched silent into the tall grasses and baby frilly pines and all the miscellaneous foliage growing out of the little treeless patch of forest where this road – McGee, sure, that sounds false, this is McGee Road, and I am crawling up the grassy knoll upon which it is paved.
As for you, well, you leap directly over me, full spread on that mysterious gray aura you got goin’ on, and that’s when the gunfire resumes.
Then, suddenly, it suddenly ramps up, as if a bunch of sudden army ‘mans suddenly realized they weren’t the ones suddenly firing without sudden concern for where the bullets might suddenly land.
Suddenly.
I love this goofy-ass book, ‘man. I had such a good time writing it, and reading it always brings a smile to my face. That’s right, I read my own work. In fact, my books are the only books I read. That’s really all I do these days, just sit around sniffing my own farts. What can you do?
I’ll tell you what – buy some copies and get yo’self a whiff (-;