Running: How To Torture Yourself And Enjoy It |The Unvictimized Edition|

|Front Cover|Introduction|1|2|3|4|5|6|Conclusion|Appendix|Back Cover|


Chapter 4
Your Runner’s Log(s)

Getting Started

Deciding to get out there and start running is a big step, but not as big as actually getting out there and physically doing the running. To help you keep track of your progress and see your own improvement on paper, I have created a series of runner’s logs for you to use on your journey. There are three total: one for the first week, one for the first month, and then a template to use for when you’ve made it through the first month. Feel free to write right in the book, tear the pages out, make copies for you and your friends, whatever you need to do. You don’t even need to follow these suggestions if you don’t want to; as long as you’re getting outside and you’re running around, you’ve accomplished the goal.

Also, please ALWAYS REMEMBER TO STRETCH YOURSELF OUT BEFORE AND AFTER YOU RUN OH MY GOODNESS IS THIS IMPORTANT!!!

The First Week

The first week you decide to get out there and start running will, without a doubt, be the most difficult week of your life. In high school we called it Hell Week. Well, we didn’t, but I’m calling it Hell Week in here so myah.

The goal of the first week as I have outlined it is to have you steadily build up to a 5K, the standard distance for local charity races. For now, don’t even worry about how long it takes to get it done. Just go outside and run the distance.

As far as plotting out your run goes, you can get a GPS watch that tells you how far you’ve run, OR you can use one of the multitude of websites that let you design your own route using a GPS map – my favorite is called MapMyRun. Remember: at this point in your journey, completing the run is the goal. Good luck.

Week 1
Day 1: Run for 15 minutes without stopping. [  ]
Day 2: Run 1 mile without stopping. [  ]
Day 3: Run 1.5 miles without stopping. [  ]
Day 4: Run 2 miles without stopping. [  ]
Day 5: Run 2.5 miles without stopping. [  ]
Day 6: Run 3 miles without stopping. [  ]
Day 7: Run 3.11 miles without stopping. [  ]

The First Month

You did it, you survived Hell Week! Great job! I bet you got super high doing it too, good for you! You may have noticed that you were able to run one mile, maybe even two miles in less than 15 minutes. That’s great, and sort of expected! The reason I started you off with 15 minutes was to shock your system, to make the first day tough so the next two days seem a lot easier by comparison. Be real with yourself, that feeling of satisfaction kept you going. You proved me wrong when I called you a bitch. You’re welcome.

Regardless, the first week has come and gone and the next three are at your doorstep. Now that you’ve made your body aware that it’s going to be running, we’re going to start keeping track of how fast you finish the workouts so you can start trying to improve.

There are three types of workouts you’ll be doing: short, medium and long. The short workouts are to be no longer than 2 miles and should be done at a faster pace – really put effort into these, focus on your speed to gain the maximum benefit. The medium workouts are to be anywhere between 2 and 4 miles and should be done at a good pace – don’t kill yourself but don’t dog it either, try to focus on your breathing and finding your baseline pace. Lastly, we have the long workouts, 4 to 6 miles that should be done at a slower than normal pace – these are about building endurance and working through the stress of running for an extended period of time without stopping.

Additionally, there are two other types of “workouts” that I threw in there just for you, ya little snowflake: fun runs and rest days. A fun run should be just that – a fun run. Don’t worry about distance, time, pace, none of that. Just stretch yourself out and go for a nice run, wherever you want. A rest day, again, is pretty self-explanatory: it is a day focused on rest so your body can recuperate. On rest days, stretching should be the main goal; I would recommend that you also go out for a little run but be easy about it and, realistically, don’t run for more than 10ish minutes/1 mile.

Always remember: do not stop. Even if you have to drop it down to a baby jog, don’t stop running until you’re done. Good luck out there, champ. I’ll see you on the other side.

Week 2
Day 1: Medium Run (_______ miles)| Time:
Day 2: Short Run (_______ miles)| Time:
Day 3: Medium Run (_______ miles)| Time:
Day 4: Fun Run!
Day 5: Medium Run (_______ miles)| Time:
Day 6: Long Run (_______ miles)| Time:
Day 7: Medium Run (_______ miles)| Time:

Week 3
Day 1: Long Run (_______ miles)| Time:
Day 2: Medium Run (_______ miles)| Time:
Day 3: Short Run (_______ miles)| Time:
Day 4: Rest Day!
Day 5: Short Run (_______ miles)| Time:
Day 6: Medium Run (_______ miles)| Time:
Day 7: Long Run (_______ miles)| Time:

Week 4
Day 1: Medium Run (_______ miles)| Time:
Day 2: Long Run (_______ miles)| Time:
Day 3: Medium Run (_______ miles)| Time:
Day 4: Fun Run!
Day 5: Medium Run (_______ miles)| Time:
Day 6: Short Run (_______ miles)| Time:
Day 7: Medium Run (_______ miles)| Time:

Now let’s figure out your average time per mile. It’s very simple to calculate, I’ll walk you through it. First, total up your miles per week, then total up the time you spent running per week. Put your numbers down here:

Week 2
Total miles: _______      Total time: _______

Week 3
Total miles: _______      Total time: _______

Week 4
Total miles: _______      Total time: _______

Great job. Now, add together your total miles and your total times, and put them here:

Grand total miles: _______   Grand total time: _______

Whoop! We’re almost done. Now, divide the total time spent running by the number of miles you ran, put the number on the line, and bask in the greatness that is yourself being a real runner. Also, remember that you’re mathing with temporal numbers, not normal numbers.

Your average time per mile: _______

The Rest

Hello there, Feetbeater. You did it, you got through the first month. At first your times probably got a little slower with each workout, and that’s fine. In fact, that, too, is expected! Things have to get worse before they can start to get better, otherwise they would always stay the same. You ran every day for four weeks straight, except maybe that rest day (which is just fine!), and now you’re firmly addicted to that sweet, sweet feeling of freedom.

Here’s the bittersweet part… I’ve taught you all I can teach you. The rest is up to you; I guided you through the portal into the running dimension and I even helped you along the path to establishing yourself as a runner. Now it’s time for you to take over, put both hands on the wheel and drive your body to great heights. You came this far on foot – now it’s time to fly.

I do have one more gift for you though: a proper runner’s log. Or at least, instructions on how to make one. Take a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and a ruler. Draw a table that looks like this:

[____][____][____][____][____][____][____]
[____][____][____][____][____][____][____]
[____][____][____][____][____][____][____]
[____][____][____][____][____][____][____]
[____][____][____][____][____][____][____]
[____][____][____][____][____][____][____]

Now, from left to right, assign the following labels to the columns: Date, Course Name, Distance, Time, Pace, Notes. Boom, you have your running log for the week.

Why keep track? Because taking note of your progress makes it real to you, it solidifies what you’re doing in your head so you’re less inclined to fall off with it. Plus, after four more weeks of running, you can re-calculate your average time per mile and compare it to your time from the first month, and then you can keep track of how much faster you get with each passing month, and then, and then, and then…

You see, when you’re teaching someone how to run, they need guidance; that is why I provided you with guidelines for your workouts in the beginning. But the beginning has come to a timely end; now you’ll get to choose your own distances, set your own pace and keep track of your own times; you can even throw in some speed and hill workouts to really mix things up. The world is your racecourse – I’ll see you at the finish line.