Posted in Books and Other Announcements

The Great eBook Rollout

A great man once said, “If it’s ka it’ll come like a wind, and your plans will stand before it no more than a barn before a cyclone.” Ka is fate, destiny, in other words the inevitable, and my own barn has finally fallen: all my books are now available in ebook form.

I’ve been fighting this wind for a long time now. I acknowledge that a great many folks like them, but ebooks are not my thing. Never have been. I don’t read them, I don’t buy them, I’m just not about them. I’m old school like that, ya dig? When I read a book I want to read a book, I want to hold the weight of the story in my hands, I want to smell the pages as they turn, I want to feel the power imbued into those pages and as far as I’ve experienced, reading an ebook just isn’t the same as reading a real physical book.

Nor is making an ebook the same as making a book, not for me it isn’t. When I go about putting one of my books together, a lot more than just typing words goes into it. I like to use a multitude of fonts, I like to add in visuals here and there, I like to mess with the formatting a little bit. In other words, I like to make a book out of it. Is this extra stuff completely necessary in telling the stories I tell? No, but I think the extra makes the reading experience better. It is a haughty artistic choice, and if I can’t make my projects the way I want to make them, I simply choose not to make them.

Up until now, every time I tried to make my projects into ebooks (and there have been many times) I would put them into Kindle Create and my work would be forced through a formatting filter and all the glorious extras would be stripped away as though Kindle Create drenched my work in acid, and I mean the caustic kind! It just didn’t work for me, it didn’t jive, fighting the program/system gave me a headache and I always got frustrated and said Fuck this asinine bullshit I refuse to work under these con’god’damned’ditions (not in those words) before uninstalling Kindle Create back into the technological hellscape from whence I dredged it so it could sit and wait for me to whistle it back, which I always would, time and time again.

But this time was different. This time when I whistled, I noticed that Kindle Create had the option to make an ebook that is an exact replica of the printed book. I don’t make text files, I make books, and now Kindle Create was giving me the opportunity to prepare electronic versions of my books for sale. The wind was continuing to blow, I say, and so I finally let the barn drop.


Alternate Metaphor

Life is a race and in running it, you will come across hurdles which must be leapt over in order to proceed. You have no choice but to leap; the choice comes in after you’ve left the ground. You will either clear the hurdle and land securely on two feet and keep on running towards the next hurdle (which will be just a little bit taller than the last), or you will catch your knee/shin/entire body on the crossbar and you will falter and topple and eat a doggie bag of shit and the blood will flow, and then you will get up, you will get running, and the next hurdle will be the exact same height as the last, and you will leap again.

You will always leap and you will always land; whether or not you go on bloodied is entirely up to you. That is to say, whether or not you get over the hurdle is entirely up to you.

Lmfao this post is so extra


It didn’t happen overnight – it happened over the course of two nights and a day, and it took half a litre of Romana Sumbvca |Liquore Classico| – but it finally happened. I came to the ebook hurdle once more and I leapt, and the winds of ka were blowin’ so strong they helped me get over it without spilling blood. This is called The Great eBook Rollout, but when I hit the ground I didn’t roll out, I just kept on running, and now all eleven of my fictions are available in ebook form, and my website and every single one of my blog posts – posted and scheduled alike – reflect that fact.

AND SOMEBODY BOUGHT ONE, TOO! Somebody bought the Untitled Bigfoot Project ebook ON DAY ONE! Before I even made the official announcement! Talk about a good sign, right? Gargantuan thanks to that lovely hypothetical reader, I really hope you dig it.

Like the prices for the autographed books on my store, my ebook prices are based solely on the book’s word count; the more work I put into the project, the higher the price. That said, every ebook is cheaper than the Amazon unsigned paperback alternative, as it should be. Here’s a list of hyperlinked titles and prices in pile order, just in case anyone else is feeling a little horny (;

If you’re there, hypothetical reader, thank you for being there. From this day on, we move forever forward~

Posted in Books and Other Announcements

Under the Hood: The Imprisonment of Jonathan Knox | New Book Announcement

Hello Commons, I’ve a new book to announce. It’s called Under the Hood: The Imprisonment of Jonathan Knox, it’s a novel about a man who likes to eavesdrop on his neighbors, and it’s the second entry in the W-2222 series.

Jonathan Knox, one of the many residents of backwoods Wuester, has a habit of planting bugs in his neighbors’ houses so he can listen in on what they get up to when they think they’re alone. One night when he’s listening in on his latest mark, local Chief of Police Daniel Maxwell, Jonathan learns about a sinister plot involving an innocent little girl who’s been targeted because of the color of her skin. A sense of duty overcomes him; Jonathan Knox is the only one outside of a circle of dirty cops who knows about the terrible plan, and so he’s the only one who can stop it. Wielding a full can of gasoline and a box of matches, Jonathan Knox hops into his smart car and sets off to do just that, and it only gets more demented from there.

Under the Hood: The Imprisonment of Jonathan Knox is scheduled to be shared over the course of 44 blog posts starting tomorrow, February 27th, and ending on April 11th. Each post will contain one subchapter of the book and will go up at 2:00 PM eastern time every day. Below is the information tile for Under the Hood: The Imprisonment of Jonathan Knox ripped straight from the Books page of my website, which includes applicable links and book stats.

Universe W-2222
Under the Hood: The Imprisonment of Jonathan Knox

If you’re there, hypothetical reader, thank you for being there. From this day on, we move forever forward. Be well Commons~

Posted in Books and Other Announcements

Untitled Bigfoot Project Announcement

Hello Commons, I have a new book for ya. It’s called Untitled Bigfoot Project, it’s a novel about a writer who writes a novel about bigfoot, and it’s dedicated to a series of books called the Dark Tower, plus their author.

Untitled Bigfoot Project takes place in Logger’s Pond, NJ, the hometown of a young ‘man named Sidney Blake. Sidney, who went away to college in Colorado to pursue a passion for poetry, burned through his general education courses and then promptly flunked out when he hit the poetry classes. On his first night back in town, before even stopping home, Sidney meets up with a few childhood friends for a powwow of intoxication and merriment around a campfire; during this reunion, Sidney and one of his friends get to talking about the fantasy world they would make up stories about when they were children, and the idea of Sidney making a novel out of that other world gets tossed around with the empty bottles and cached bowlpacks. Over the course of the following few months, Sidney Blake goes on something of a journey during which he writes his novel, titled The Face of Fear, and battles his demons (plus whatever the hell it is making all that noise in the woods), and before the end of the year, he successfully publishes his work.

There are seven chapters of Untitled Bigfoot Project, each one preceded and followed by journal entries Sidney makes during the story, aside from the last one, which is followed by an article from the local Logger’s Pond newspaper, the LogPond Gazette. What follows is an extremely detailed breakdown of the seven chapters:

  1. Sunday: First Night – Sidney reunites with his friends and gets intoxicated around a campfire. When he gets home, he hears some noises in the woods.
  2. Monday: Noises – Sidney goes for a walk in the woods during which he experiences a kind of delusion where he thinks his favorite book series, the Dark Tower, is something of a prophecy of his life. He also hears some noises in the woods.
  3. Wednesday: Research – Sidney goes to the library to start work on his novel.
  4. Saturday: An Encounter – Sidney finds out what’s been making all the noise in the woods.
  5. Thursday: Findings – Sidney has a very interesting day.
  6. Tuesday: Conclusion – Sidney has a very interesting night.
  7. Friday: Last Night – With his novel all published and whatnot, Sidney decides to celebrate.

I know, the whole goddamned thing is spoiled now. At the end of this post is everything the hypothetical reader needs to know regarding the availability of the novel, and between here and there is some stuff the hypothetical reader might want to know about the novel.


First things first: I am downright excited to share this piece of work with you, Commons, and with any hypothetical readers who might check it out. UBP is the tenth book I’ve put together, and it’s also the longest, coming in at just under 250,000 words. The idea came to me in a sort of mundane way; I was sitting on the back porch smoking some herbs and I heard some noises in the woods, which freaked me out. To ease the paranoia, I asked myself, “What are you afraid of, fucking bigfoot?” and then the lightbulb went off. At first I didn’t think the project would be anything big, but over time the idea kept on evolving until it became the tome it is today, and now it’s here. Now it really exists!

Next, the dedication. I planned on Sidney being a Dark Tower junkie from the beginning, and his fantasy world is inspired by King’s other worlds than these, too, but then I got to the second chapter. The second chapter of UBP is the length of a straight-up novella, by far the longest chapter in the book, and each of its eight subchapters are named after the titles of the eight Dark Tower books. I went ham with it, in other words, and because of this, I decided to dedicate the book to Stephen King and his magnum opus. I don’t know the guy, obviously, but this book wouldn’t be the same without his books, and dedicating it to him and his work seemed like the right thing to do. So, I did it. That’s just what it is.

Now, a question: “If the book is about a dude who writes a book, does the book the dude writes in the book exist?”

To answer this question I was never asked by another human being, I’ll say this: “There are smaller books hidden in the back of a third of the nine other books I’ve written. Also, the LogPond Gazette article starts on page 519 of UBP, and UBP is 717 pages long. So uh… what do you think?”

Lastly, something of a revelation. Originally I wasn’t going to make mention of this, but we’re pretty deep into this post now, and I don’t know if this part’s ever go’n’a be read; might as well put it out there, right? So like I said, Untitled Bigfoot Project is the longest book I’ve ever written, coming in at just under 250,000 words. This puts my total published word count over the 1,000,000 mark, but that’s not the crazy part. Throughout those 1,000,000+ words, guess how many times the words “people” and “person” were used. Go on, guess. GUESS, I SAY!!!

Not once. Across my ten books I’ve written over 1,000,000 words, and “people” and “person” are not among those 1,000,000 words. Not once, Commons. Not a single time have I used the words “people” or “person” in my writing. There are a few reasons behind this, one of which I’d like to share with you: in my mind, a “person” and a “human” are not the same thing; as for what the difference is, well, you’ll have to figure that one out for yourself. If you can. You’re just a website, after all.


Untitled Bigfoot Project is scheduled to be shared over the course of 224 blog posts starting tomorrow, January 1st, and ending on August 12th. Each post will contain one subchapter of the book and will go up at 5:00 PM 9:00 AM eastern time every day. Below is the information tile for Untitled Bigfoot Project ripped straight from the Books page of my website, which includes applicable links and book stats.

Universe W-428
Untitled Bigfoot Project

From this day on, we move forever forward. Be well Commons~

Posted in Books and Other Announcements

Flowers

Hello Commons, I have a new book for ya. It’s called Flowers, it’s a novel about a man who smokes the last of his pot, and it’s the first entry in a new series called W-2222.

Flowers takes place in the backwoods town of Wuester, New Jersey and stars a man by the name of Howie “Hoots” McGee, who considers himself to be the next great stand-up pot comic. After pissing off his significant other by making them wait in the cold while he was at a party, Howie lights a joint and wanders into the night to find some hole in the ground where he can sleep his buzz off. When he wakes up, he finds himself not only in the basement of a church, but also in an apocalypse. This is no ordinary apocalypse, however; the world seems to have burned alive overnight. Buildings and trees are reduced to charcoal. Everything is covered in a blanket of ash. The sky is the pale white of death – or rather, what follows after the passing of death – and Howie, along with three nuns who survived by sleeping in the same church (although not in the basement), seem to be the only survivors.

Although I don’t designate them as such in the actual book, the story is broken into five chapters, plus a pro- and epilogue, and I’ll outline them vaguely below:

  • Prologue | Peace – The night before the apocalypse.
  • Chapter 1 | Church – The morning after the apocalypse.
  • Chapter 2 | The Way – Howie makes his way to his apartment to get his pot.
  • Chapter 3 | Home – Howie explores the remains of his apartment in search of his pot.
  • Chapter 4 | Fire – Howie smokes the rest of his pot.
  • Chapter 5 | The Center – Having smoked his pot, Howie decides what to do next.
  • Epilogue | Love – What follows Howie doing what he decided to do next.

At the end of this post is everything the hypothetical reader needs to know about when Flowers will be posted on the blog and how they can acquire copies and whatnot; between here and there is self-indulgence. Get ready, Commons. I think you’re go’n’a be proud.


This project came to me very suddenly; within ten minutes of the idea popping into my head I had two loose leaf pages of notes scrawled and the first few words of the draft typed up. I finished the draft in about five days (give or take a sleepless night), put it through the standard editing process, and here we are. Book number nine, the second book of the Third Spiral. Can’t stop won’t stop.

Seriously, I can’t fucking stop. I was more than 100 pages into an entirely different project when Flowers stuck its… stem into my head and took over. These ideas seem to be living things, I’m not in control of my actions. I need hEL-

I have to say, despite the fact that this was the highest I’ve ever been while making a book (specifically during the writing – there is a reason the story is about a man who smokes the last of his pot), the process has never been smoother. I feel like I’m finally getting a solid grip on this bookmaking thing, Commons. It feels good. Feels like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, y’know? Feels like I’m doing shit right for once. Whether or not I actually did it right will be up to the hypothetical reader, of course, but, y’know. Feeling pretty good about it on my end.

Oh, and also, this is the last book I’ll be making under the influence of cannabis. Being creative whilst high is fun and all, but uh… how do I put this… at this point in my life, I feel the need to grow the fuck up. Marijuana addiction is a thing, Commons, a thing that divided me into two different beings, one called High’Hunter and one called Sober’Hunter, and one of these assholes has officially been banished between the covers of a book by the other. I know, I’ll miss him too, but look on the bright side: Sober’Hunter is a lot smarter than High’Hunter. He’s a harder worker, too. Leagues more dedicated. He also tends to give less of a fuck, which is nice. I’m quite looking forward to reacquainting myself with that dude. Been a few years since I’ve seen him.


Flowers will have a 33-post run in the 2:00 p.m. slot starting tomorrow, November 3rd – which just might be the night before the real apocalypse falls unto the United (Untied?) States of America, hey-hey ho-ho – and ending December 5th. Below is the entry I made for Flowers on the Books page, which includes book stats and relevant links for the hypothetical reader’s convenience.


If you’re there, hypothetical reader, thank you for being there. From this day on, we move forever forward. Be well Commons~

Posted in Books and Other Announcements

Convenient Incidents

Hello Commons, I’ve written and published another book. This one is called Convenient Incidents, it’s an anthology of fifteen interconnected short stories which revolve around a man by the name of Hilter Odolf Williamson. This is my eighth fiction book overall, the sixth in its series, and the first book of the Third Spiral: The Here and Now, and by the end of this post, I’ll have explained everything.

First, the new book. Convenient Incidents is a collection of fifteen short stories broken into three chapters of five stories each: Fricker Drive, The Incense Salesman, and Convenient Incidents.

  • Fricker Drive starts with a young man who lives with his parents on a backwoods road called Fricker Drive in the town of Treeburg; this young man vanishes, which prompts his family to sell their house to a psychologist named Hilter Odolf Williamson so they can move away. Then, as more of the residents start to disappear, Hilter begins buying up all of the vacant houses on the road for reasons he can’t explain.
  • In The Incense Salesman, a mysterious incense salesman under the alias of Smells connects with random folk from the greater Treeburg area over the internet and sends them free samples of his wares. Something strange happens whenever the incense samples are lit, and when the salesman goes to deliver his last free sample? Something even stranger happens.
  • Finally, in Convenient Incidents, Hilter (who’s begun to notice a few patterns present in the “conveniently coinciding incidents” transpiring around Fricker Drive) starts a general psychotherapy practice out of his many houses. The discussions he has with his patients (all locals who played a role in the strange events) sends him spiraling into his own mind trying to figure out what it all means, why he bought all the houses on Fricker Drive, why he even came to the area in the first place. Then, he finds out.

All of Convenient Incidents can be read for free on my website by clicking here. If you’d like to help support my work, you can buy a paperback copy from Amazon by clicking here. Convenient Incidents is 90,666 words long (which translates to 248 pages) and yeah, now you know.

Next, how my fiction works. Everything I write takes place in a reality called Existence. Existence is made up of a few different astral planes, one of which is called The Void. The Void is where the universes float, the universes are where the planets float, and the planets are… well, you know what planets are. Convenient Incidents is the sixth book in the W-63 series, which means that it takes place in Universe W-63; the first five books of the W-63 series make up the First Spiral, which I’ll get to in a bit, and are not directly related to Convenient Incidents. They are related to it, but not in a strictly linear fashion, which means you don’t have to read the first five books in order to understand and enjoy the sixth; if you did read the first five books you’ll probably notice a few references, such as character and location names, but the story of the first five books and the stories in the sixth are not linked.

Well, they’re technically linked, but in the same way your past life is linked to your current life… makes sense, right?

Lastly, the three spirals. Okay. So the First Spiral is called The Highest One Writing, the Second Spiral is an ongoing story that I’m not revealing the title of until it’s done, and the Third Spiral is called The Here and Now. I’mma put it into a list to explain it.

  • First Spiral: The Highest One Writing
    • A story about a fictional author with the initials of HOW told over the six books that he wrote. Each book is a different kind of book (self-help, poetry, novel, etc.) and to keep it simple, I’ll summarize the story for you like so: Through his writing, our HOW author inadvertently taps into and controls a few different universes parallel to his own. He winds up meeting one of the beings from one of these universes (who he thinks is just a character from his writings), and at the end of everything, the “character” ends up killing the author and his mother and destroying all of Existence.
    • But, the thing is, Existence can’t be destroyed, it can only be reset. So…
  • Second Spiral
    • The grand majority of this is not written yet. I know how the story is going to go; I know how many books it will be, I know the titles of these books, I have plots, characters, locations, and the various universes they’re going to take place in, I have this, that, and the other thing, but aside from the first book, it’s all still in my head. And for now, that’s all right.
    • Here’s what I’ll tell you: the story of the Second Spiral begins shortly after Existence is reborn. Some nonsense will go down over the course of the story, and by the end of it, said nonsense will have been resolved. And that’s that.
  • Third Spiral: The Here and Now
    • Where the First and Second Spirals tell an overarching story, the Third Spiral will (probably) not. After the events of the Second Spiral go down, Existence will be existing. So long as Existence exists, things will happen. So long as things happen, there will be stories to be told and books to be made.
    • Cards on the table, I don’t have any books planned for the Third Spiral in the immediate future. In the distant future, yes, but not in the immediate future. That being said, I didn’t plan on writing Convenient Incidents either, it just kind of happened. So who knows.

Now to bring it all together: Convenient Incidents is the sixth book of W-63 and the first book of the Third Spiral. At the end of W-63 #5, all of reality (and thus Universe W-63) is given a hard reset – reincarnated, in other words. Universe W-63 doesn’t have a role to play in the story of the Second Spiral, so it is reborn as part of the Third Spiral. Convenient Incidents is basically the epilogue of The Highest One Writing, and so the first five books of W-63 are essentially the past life of Convenient Incidents. Makes sense now, right?

No? This is all totally confusing and ridiculous? Well imagine how I feel, all of this shit just comes to me. I go nuts if I don’t write it down and make it into books, so I’mma keep on keepin’ on and the pile will keep on growin’.

What else… oh, so like I said above, you can read Convenient Incidents in its entirety for free on my website right now (I’ll even put another link here). What I didn’t say above: all the books I’ve written can be read for free in their entireties on my website, that’s just how I’m doing it, click here for the list! Also, all of the stories from Convenient Incidents will be posted on the blog to be read by whoever finds the posts, but not until December 12th of this year. This is because WordPress offers a feature that allows you to schedule blog posts ahead of time, and I abuse that feature like a fiend; The Highest One Writing started posting on June 19th and will finish posting on December 11th, then Convenient Incidents will run from the 12th to the 26th, and then the first book of the Second Spiral (The Monksville Chronicles) will start going up on the 27th. TMC should finish its run sometime in March of 2021, and I plan on doing more writing between now and then.

Um… I think that’s all.

I don’t really know what I’m doing here, Commons, but I’m trying my best. For you, for the hypothetical readers, for the stories I tell and the characters those stories are about, I’m trying my best. And I’ll keep on trying. And the wind shall continue to blow.

Be well Commons~